I'm supposed to get my bike back from the shop tomorrow. I'm tres excited. In honor of the event, I went and bought bike shorts that are padded to keep my junk from not working.

I tried them on for my wife and they are so tight that she asked me to come closer. When I did she reached out and poked my crotch and said, "is that the padding?"

I explained to her that what she was poking was not padding. It was, in fact, my balls.

Everyone, including me, thought that was funny.

As soon as I get the battery charged on my camera expect pictures.

I'm going to greenville tonight to help out w/ a friend's band. There may be free drinks involved. who knows. My wife and I have planned couples massages in two weeks. It's not supposed to be dirty but somehow it sounds that way.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

My wife is taking up drawing. Hope that sticks. She needs an outlet for something not work related.

I also have to visit the town dump today, call my friend kelly and visit the bike shop. I'm going to get some of them shorts what make your junk look all big when you're riding a bike.

Peace out shorties.

so. we decided we wanted to go on a 5day camping trip. our neighbor kid and our nephew both teens decided to join.
they came and -- of course -- made complete asses out of themselves.

And then they got kicked out.

I mean really kicked out.

According to the owners, after acting all slutty, the girl of the duo decided to concoct this scheme where they robbed the lost and found. The boy half agreed that this was a good idea.

Then we all had to leave three days early.

In related news, the lady who ran the camp looked like Pam from the office. I loved that.

I'm hoping to meet a woman who clerks at a hotel that looks like flo from the progressive commercials. Both me and my son have a huge crush on her.

oh and kelly needs to get on that yahoo thing.

Since my 15 y/o neighbor's kid found out my 16 y/o nephew was living here she's been looking for reasons to be around.

Which means I have to watch punkasses stare at each other awkwardly and my bathroom smells like an axe commercial.

Its annoying as adolescence was a pain to deal with when I was going through it. Now I get to watch it again. It's no fun on the outside either.

It's even weirder when you consider I didn't get out of that awkward phase until like, last year? Maybe?


I also bought a Flash hat today. Which rox.

Im thinking about painting my nails again as since I don't have a job there's no reason not to go all punk rok.

any votes on this idea?

i'm currently cleaning house for my family while their in Jacksonville NC visiting the beach. I had to stay and do some xxxx (redacted for potential issues with the government).

XXXXXXX means I didn't get home until 4am on Sun. and didn't get to sleep until 6am. I didn't wake up until 6pm. Which is why it's 4am and I'm planning a bike ride after I finish cleaning up. I'm debating on pulling an all nighter, as the family will be home today and I'd like to spend some of the holiday with them.

in unrelated news, my wife is bringing home my nephew who's coming to stay with us as he's had some problems with drugs, alcohol, behavorial issues, potential mental health problems, an inability to graduate HS, etc.

The wife is hoping we can at least see to it he turns 18 and manages to stop huffing gas and get his GED in the meantime. I hope she's right and I'm glad we're in a position to help out. But I can't help but be ... aprehensive.

we'll just have to see how that works out.

Also, I'm thrilled dollhouse got picked up for a second season.

I'm sick.

I'm so sick it gave me nightmares. Which sux.

I'm on antibiotics and other items until it gets better. We'll see how that goes.

I need to get more grownup medicine tho. Everything in the house has children's written on the front of it.

Since getting fired (the wife says getting fired is different from being laid off, but the closest she's ever come to being unvoluntarily unemployed is not being asked to take a temp job permanently, so what does she know. either way its a crappy day followed by a stark loss of income) i've been forced to spend a lot of time wondering if the gubbmint is going to screw up my unemployment.

Coupled with the fact that the payments come in a sporadic and unpredictable time frame, it makes my life really stressful (you can't all be like lets set grocery/laundrey/hooters day for wednesday, you may be broke on wed.)

in unrelated news, the white stripes can't make a good song, and that amanda chick from the dresden dolls is a really fascinating (read hot/liquid/smart/bright) woman, who other that a love of strange songs shares with me an almost complete adoration of prince.

"I only want to see you standing in the purple rain, purple rain, purple rain"

ps: spell check is for losers

Like anyone really cares, but, I like goofy lists and it's been a long time since I've posted any life time updates.

1. Found out my health is in the shitter. Am working to fix this while it's still fixable.

2. Baby girl grew! Like huge.

3. Bought a house. Wanted a yurt, but nooooo! Now the wife wants to buy a yurt. I'm all grown past that. I want a tipi now.

4. Got a moped. One-a them ones what has pedals. Not like a poseur scooter moped. It's 19 years old! It was made in Yugoslavia! It's gets more than 200 mpg! I shall celebrate it's b'day on April 15 every year. I have named it .50 cal. (Coz the model is a bullet - Get it yo)

5. Got a job at a TV station (TV station?!? WTF?! I know right)

6. TV Station gave me a phone and computer. Rock!

7. Got laid off from said TV station. Me and about 0p9871409817023498712034987120394879 other ppl. Budget cutbacks yo! (Oddly enough, a lot of ppl keep asking me what I did. Good to know the rep is still alive)

8. Had previously noted computer and phone confiscated. Un-rock!

8. Got all into cycling. Am about to start training for a metric century (62.5 miles, 100 km)

9. Made a deal with a yurt maker to get a free yurt. Bitchin! Still want a tipi.

10. Got the boy into middle school Very Very proud.

11. Got a loved one on much needed meds.

12. Got myself on much needed meds.

13. Grew as a person.

14. Read some crappy books.

15. Read some good books.

16. Bought a phone and a computer. Both bricked on the same day (odds! Really I need to brush up on my math skills so's I can figure them). Got computer working. Phone is down still yo.

17. Went vegetarian again.

18. Finally talked wife into going vegetarian.

19. Got rid of cable.

20. Watch wayyyy tooo much hulu.

21. Lost 10 pounds.

21. Can't believe I can only come up w/ 21 things I've done in the last year or so. Wow! God I'm a loser. I need to get on the stick.

So yeah, you think you have enough going on w/ facebook twitter myspace linked in and your gmail profile. Hell even your mom is following you on facebook. you lose your computer. (not like OMG, I totally found it under the fridge. Hey there's Jesus too. Everybody I found Jesus! But like, OMG my computer broke/got reposessed lost your computer.) You figure nobody on LJ follows you anymore anyway.

So you leave LJ by the wayside. You say goodbye to hot photos taken at mardis gras. You say goodbye to comments.

But a friend contacts you and says she ain't doing facebook or twitter or any of that crap. So here we are. If anybody I know and love is reading this I missed you. And I'm sorry I was away so long. Please forgive me.

i haven't had any sleep coz my wife can't keep up w/ her keys.
Babys are mean.
I got a cell phone, but it don't work coz verizon don't believe me when i tell them what my zip code is.
i'm going to crank up the ac and crawl into bed.